Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in dj_blixxx's LiveJournal:

Monday, May 8th, 2006
8:51 pm	Writer's Block WRITERS’ BLOCK The sun’s rays were just starting to peek over the horizon in Roseville and it was starting to hurt Bob Stewart’s eyes. He squinted and adjusted his coke-bottle glasses higher up on his cucumber shaped nose. Bob still would not rest fore he needed something he had not yet attained. Bob needed inspiration. Bob had been a novelist off and on for almost a decade now. He had written many fine works of poetry and fiction. Unfortunately, despite all the years of his experience under his stretched belt, for some reason all he could draw was a blank. The evening came and went like so many women in his life. The sun had come up and Bob still had no ideas. He cursed him- self under his breath and just stared blankly at his screensaver. His writer’s block had never been this bad before. Bob was starting to panic as his feeble mind started scanning subject after subject to no avail. His fingers were twitching with intense anticipation as they caressed the little Braille nubs on the keyboard. Hour after hour went by and lunchtime was creeping up on him like a silent killer. His biological need to sate his hunger eventually overtook his passion to write and he decided to go out to the local coffee shop. Besides, he thought, there might be some source of inspiration he could find. After a rather uneventful drive to the coffee shop he pulled into the parking lot. He then proceeded to slyly steal a parking space from an elderly woman who had been waiting for another person to pull out. After a friendly wave ‘hello’ to the old woman as she yelled unintelligible curses at him, he calmly strolled inside. As he opened the door the aroma of cheap perfume and roasted coffee beans accosted his nasal passages and made him gag for a moment. After a momentary pause he adjusted and walked to the counter. “How may I help you, sir?” said the jovial girl behind the counter. “I’ll have a mocha latte please,” he replied blushing. He caught himself secretly wishing he was a bit younger and more attractive. Or, that he didn’t have so much of a beer gut and that he hadn’t neglected to shower for awhile. He politely thanked the girl as he slapped his money down on the counter and then went outside to have a nerve-calming smoke. He calmly surveyed the patio area and then he strolled over to an empty table in a lonely forgotten corner. He glanced up at the sky as he puffed smokey onion ring shapes from his parched lips. The sky was so blue, like a Windex dream with swirls of whipped cream clouds. The sun was busy playing peek-a-boo with some hyperactive birds. The rays of heavenly luminescence shown down onto the humble patio like strobe lights from the angels. One of the beams shown down on Bobs’ table like a spotlight at a seedy comedy club. Bob mearly chuckled at the thought of ‘God’ as he puffed on his smoke like the atheist engine that couldn’t. A cry suddenly broke the silence of Bob’s little make-believe world. He glanced to his left and stole a glimpse of a mother and her stroller-bound yuppie larvae. The baby was crying for food as the mother fumbled with her baby bag looking for a bottle. Bob marveled in the thought that mother and child have a symbiotic relationship rather than a relationship out of love. For example, he thought, the baby needs her for food and shelter. He glanced at the woman’s’ hand and noticed she had no ring on her finger. Perhaps, he concluded, she needs the baby for companionship and her emotional well being as well. Then the chalk- board of his mind was whipped clean again. Well, Bob decided, it’s time to go home again. He dragged himself from the table and to his car. He gave the key a turn and was welcomed by the familiar hello of the squealing engine. He threw it into reverse and started pulling out of the stolen space. He gave a casual glance at his rear view mirror and noticed a couple fighting. They were yelling at each other very intensely over some unknown subjects. Bob just figured it was probably something very trivial like that the guy forgot to put the lid down. She then hurled some roses at him that he’d given her in a blatant attempt to smooth over some roughness in their relationship. Bob mearly smirked to himself as she stormed off down the street with her boyfriend in pursuit, eyes streaming with tears. This only reconfirmed Bobs’ belief that all of young America was wholly dysfunctional at best. At last Bob pulled into his driveway. He had seen quite a few interesting things. Bob felt a strange sensation overtaking him. Had he finally found inspiration? Eager for success Bob raced inside and jumped onto his chair. He hastily booted up his computer and turned on the monitor. Bob fingered the keyboard with such vigor, such excitement, and such determination to complete his story. Then suddenly his mind blanked as if he had never left the house. His hands froze in the ready position. The dull screensaver clicked back on tauntingly as he stared at it in a horrid realization. The world started to spin as his mind slipped back into that oh So familiar oblivion… Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
8:48 pm	Never Again NEVER AGAIN “What am I doing here?” Jack thought to himself as his mind raced for an answer. Jack was at it again. He was hanging out in a ritzy reception hall down in New York’s East Side sector. It was a grand hall filled with the well-to-do and enough food for an army. He was leaning on a wall adjacent to an old punch bowl at the end of the table. Jack took a glance around the room. “Nice décor,” He said to himself with a smirk the size of the table. He quickly and mentally slapped himself back in line. He had no time to admire the fancy-schmancyness of the hall for he had a job to do. You see, Jack was an assassin. Officially, he worked for the mob but, once in a while he did ‘errands’ for the government. That is, when the government doesn’t feel like taking the heat. In return they overlooked Jack’s dealings. It was a tense relationship at best. Jack sipped on an extra-dry martini as he remained leaning against the wall in back. From this position he could see the whole hall and everyone in it clearly. Every big-wig in town was there. There was the rich, a few minor celebrities, and a lot of unknowns drinking and waiting. There was to be a big speech tonight…a controversial speech. A speech someone was paying a lot of money to cut short. Jack just kept on sipping away at his martini. He held no personal grudges or anything like that against his victims. It was just his job he always told himself. He had to rationalize his behavior. It’s the only way to stay ‘sane’. “Besides,” he thought “they all deserved what they got.” His train of thought was suddenly derailed by a bump from his right. “Oh, excuse me. I’m very sorry,” the unknown woman said. “It’s okay, I’m alright. Except, for my martini…it’s all over the floor,” Jack said. “Hey, she’s gorgeous,” Jack thought to himself as his wide smile waved hello. “The Cheshire cat ain’t got nothing’ on these choppers,” he silently assured himself. “I’m sorry about that. My name’s Alice. Alice Tanner. What’s yours?” she said as her candy apple lips seemed to move in slow motion. “Er, um, Jack,” he spat out as he yet again snapped back to reality. “Nice to meet you…Jack,” she said, her words dancing all over Jack’s helpless mind. “Say do you want to go get some drinks after this speech? I know it sounds kinda sudden but I’m feeling particularly frisky tonight. Besides, you look like the type that enjoys a strong woman who knows what she wants.” “Oh, indeed I do.” “Well then, it’s settled. I have to take care of some business for a bit but, you can meet me back at the bar on the corner in an hour.” “Okay…cheers.” “Cheers.” Jack found himself blushing for the first time in years as he watched her walk away. He was so happy. He hadn’t had a date in years. “This could be the one,” he thought. He definitely felt that electric spark o’ love. Unfortunately, it was time for him to regain his composition. He still had a job to do. He surveyed the area for his contact. An old waiter met Jack’s eyes with a hard gaze. The two men exchanged eye contact for a brief moment like a cat caught in a car’s highbeams before becoming a road-patty. The old, gnarled waiter strolled up to Jack with another martini on a napkin. “Your drink, sir.” “Thank you,” Jack said. He tipped the old man generously and turned over the napkin. It simply read…3rd foor-office 205-fax machine. With that, Jack left the hall and headed for the elevators. He entered the first available elevators with several other people and watched the door close behind him. He felt the tenseness in his hands and body like a rigermortise reminder of the death he was to inflict on his unsuspecting quarry. “This is the last one,” Jack silently swore to himself,” I swear it. After this I’ll just move away. I’ll disappear for awhile, maybe settle down with a nice girl. Alice.. …,” he thought,” hopefully her…but what would she think of me if she knew what I’d done.” He knew he liked her very much, unnaturally almost. The elevator came to a stop. Everyone shuffled out in a some what orderly fashion. Jack managed to break away from the crowd without anyone noticing. He snuck down the poorly lit hallway like a frightened mouse until he found himself standing in front of office 205. With a quick pick of the lock he was inside. Once inside he glanced about. The fax machine was to the left on a messy desk. He pushed aside some of the clutter and waited for instructions. While he waited, Jack had a look around. The place was a mess. Papers and chairs were scattered about. A half eaten sandwich lay on the floor. He also took note of the window to his right with the nice overhead view of the reception hall. Just then with a mechanical whir the fax machine came to life scaring the bejesus out of Jack. The paper that came forth. It simply read: go to the desk-open the top, right hand drawer-take the suitcase-open, assemble. He did as the note said. He found the suitcase and opened it. Inside there was a high powered rifle (silenced) and a scope. He assembled and waited for further instructions. The next whir brought the next paper. It read: now sending picture of the mark-wait until subject is on podeum-rendevous 10 minutes-parking lot, black Mercedes. Jack walked by the window and peeked out. People were getting ready to hear the speech. Jack started having second thoughts. What had he done to himself? He had volunteered, he had chosen. No one else was responsible for his actions. The fax machine whirred to life again. The microphone also buzzed to life at that same instant with a feedback hiccup. Jack slowly walked to the fax machine just as the speech was starting. Jack froze in his path. He knew that voice…it was Alice! Her picture came sliding out of the fax machine in way that seemed taunting and unfair. He watched it slowly fall to the floor like a dead leaf in Autumn only it was Jack changing color, not the paper. He slowly sank to his knees “What have I done? God, help me…..” Current Mood: shocked (Comment on this)
8:47 pm	That's So Typical Miguel Valdez That’s So Typical “Hey, faggot!” The yell reverberated across the Bel Air parking lot. Then the unmistakable sound of breaking glass-raining shards of death soon followed. Mike looked down at his boots. He slowly sidestepped out of the crunchy pile of hateful Budweiser beer bottle bits. “Goddamn jocks,” he cursed to himself in a laryngitis-like tone. This was a typical day in the life of Mike. He was, after all, the only gothic-punk kid in town. People can be so cruel to things they fear or don’t understand. This goes for their attitudes towards poor Mikey. He’d been thrown out of a lot of public places and other establishments not because he couldn’t pay or was rude but, because of his looks. He was a suburban kid with dreams and a conciousness bigger than this mudhole of a town. He was a self-proclaimed torchbearer for the spirit of the scene. Mike sighed and pushed his long black bangs aside. He surveyed the parking lot carefully for any more would-be offenders to his peace. Upon seeing that the coast was clear he proceeded towards home. “I’m never going to walk here for groceries again,” he thought to himself,” It’s not worth the shit I have to take. Why can’t people leave me alone?” He continued on with his eyes focused on the weathered sidewalk. He was too busy staring at his 20-eyed boots and daydreaming that he almost walked into an elderly couple. They moved all the way across to the other side of the street as he looked up. Their unblinking eyes were fixated upon him with fear and resentment. Too bad that they (just like most) didn’t realize that Mike had no interest what so ever in their mediocre lives. People just assumed he was up to no good or that he wanted money for whatever it was that homeless punks bought with it (presumably drugs). Ignorance is not always bliss. He picked up his pace and speed walked across the street. He had enough to worry about already and didn’t need to be accosted anymore on his way home. He had made up his mind that Rocklin was not his chosen haven. He needed the city life. There the people are more accepting. There were others like him. Maybe there was a girl out there in that vast utopia waiting for him to sweep her off of her stiletto heels. Mike smiled at the thought and walked on. He was a natural born romantic, a self- proclaimed Casanova. Although, he was a very nice and sweet guy he was no Don Juan in the arts of seduction. His shyness made it hard for him to meet worthwhile people. Some women were too stuck up, some were just friends, and others just wanted to have lots of meaningless sex and then leave. That wasn’t for Mike, sex meant more to him than just dirty acrobatics and the high of an evening of orgasmic bliss. To him it was like a culmination of all of his emotions and romantic yearnings. Mike felt so alone in this little yuppie hell. He wanted a companion, a girlfriend. One of like mind and spirit that would not neglect or mistreat him. He considered reaching emotional fulfillment his number one priority. He hated being alone, and this town only magnified that negative vibe of loneliness and despair. As far as the freak population goes he truly was alone. Mike pressed on a few more blocks. He had a lot on his mind. Why was he like this? He had always been different. Bullies singled him out in school. He never had a date in high school but, that’s when he found his first love…music. He loved those dark melodies that made his soul shiver and twitch. He dressed in his beloved darkness, black from head to toe. This color above all others represented how he felt inside. Blackened with depression and guilt like a hollow, gutted tree carcass after a forest fire. His heart was as coal and he was just waiting for the right woman to chip away the hardened exterior to the diamond center. Then he thought of Natalie as he came to the last block. He had met her months ago but, only recently they had spent quite a bit of time together at a party. They didn’t really know anyone else there so they spent the majority of the night talking. They had a few drinks and things got interesting. Hands touched, lips met, and eyes melted into each other’s minds forever. He hadn’t been able to get her dimpled smile off his vivid memory still-life. The thought of her made him feel so alive and giddy like a giggly schoolgirl blushing to her bones. For a moment his gloominess became a little bit brighter. “This time I know I’ve found the one,” he thought,” She is everything I’ve ever wanted. She’s got personality, wit, and charm.” He sprinted to his front door and turned the knob with eager hands. He raced upstairs to his room. With a giant leap he cleared the bed and went over to the dresser. There it was, lying under the refuse of a weeks worth of mail. It was the coveted phone number that he had been thinking of calling all day long. He grabbed it and ran to the phone. As he licked his lips and eyed the phone number he suddenly felt a twinge in his stomach. He was overtaken by nervousness as his shy side fought for control. He felt an urge to run away and hide like he’d done so many times in the past. He waved and debated silently. It seems that the benefits could by far exceed the risk. After all, the worst that could happen if he asked her out would be a no answer, right? He dialed with unsteady hands. It rang twice and her unmistakable sweet voice tickled his ear (and his fancy). “Hello?” “Hey, it’s me, Mike. Hi, I was calling to see how you were. I haven’t talked to you in a couple of days since the party.” “Yeah, I missed talking to you. So what are you doing?” “Nothing. Say…I was wondering what you were doing later.” “Nothing, why do you ask?” “I was just wondering if you’d like to go out like on a date sometime.” “Well there’s something I need to tell you. I don’t usually don’t do things like that. Do you catch my drift?” “What do you mean? Do you already have a boyfriend or do you just not like me?” “No, it’s not that at all…” “Well, please tell me…” “It’s just that I’m…gay.” “Oh…,” Mike paused for a moment ,” well then we can still be friends right?” “Yeah, sure. That would be very cool. Well, it was nice talking to you. I have to go now okay. I’ll see you later sometime…promise?” “Yeah, I promise…” Well that was that and Mikey had heard enough. He sank back into his chair in the corner of his room. Was this destiney? Was this the fates and their sickened sense of humour? Mikey was not about to give up on his search for the one. She was out there, out there somewhere amongst the refuse and degenerates of society waiting to be saved. Or was it Mikey waiting to be saved? He reached for his favorite cd and put in on the stereo. The melancholy notes and hypnotic rythms once again enveloped Mikey in its’ velvet arms and rocked him to sleep. He would once again dream of a woman intangible and smile. Time is of the essense. He knew one day all would be right. After all, power is fleeting… hope and love are eternal. Current Mood: cynical (Comment on this)
8:44 pm	Last Kiss LAST KISS It was 7:00 and Johnnie Morris was late again. He was supposed to have met his girlfriend Anna at the Old House Diner over an hour ago. . He was too busy with the guys that he hadn’t watched the clock again. He cared not though, for he felt that everything should revolve around his schedule. That’s just the way he’d always been. His fatigued tires squealed to a halt as he pulled into the busy parking lot. His black leather was stained with various flying insects’ remnants and other road-fodder. He noticed this but did didn’t mind for he was the definition of cool. Also, his long black hair always got caught in his mouth when he rode and this annoyed him. As he took off his helmet he spit his hair out of his mouth, got of his bike and calmly strolled to the entrance. He noticed his girlfriend sitting alone at a booth by the window, staring at him with discontented eyes. God, how her big blue eyes always gave her away…how she felt, how she was going to act almost like a polygraph machine needle bouncing back and forth. It was all there. Johnnie smiled and waved nonchalantly and walked inside. “How are you?” he said rather tactlessly as he slid into his seat. “Just fine,” she retorted,” what took you so long? I’ve been here for over an hour and a half waiting for you. You’re always late.” “Sorry, but me and the guys were busy practicing that new song I wrote for you, remember? The one that says love is forever.” “Yeah, but it also says don’t take things for granted too if I remember correctly. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately how things have been.” “What do you mean?” he replied. His right eyebrow raised slightly higher than the left. “Well, it’s just that I love you so much, but it seems that we haven’t been spending much time together.” “Hey, you know how I feel. Besides, I need my space. We’ll always be together….I promise. So don’t worry about the time. I, I um… well you know….I care about you a lot.” Johnnie never could say it. His large vocabulary and cool somehow almost always deserting him on these occasions. She knew he loved her, he had always reasoned. Besides he had a few problems with the ‘L’ word. That and he didn’t want his friends thinking he had gone soft. “How come you just don’t spit it out? It’s just three little words,” Anna blurted out just as the waitress brought them their sodas. “ You know…just because,” Johnnie trailed off while looking out the window. He sipped his soda and daydreamed for a minute but was snapped back into reality by a shake. “Hey, hey let’s just leave now,” Anna said while gently shaking him by the shoulder. “O.k.,” Johnnie replied putting his money down on the table plus tip. Then two walked outside to his bike. “You want a lift home?” he asked. “No, I’ll walk tonight, babe. I just want to think for awhile.” “Um, alright. I’ll guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself,” he said as their eyes met. They exchanged a long, hard kiss and then Johnnie rode off. He couldn’t help but think about her. Maybe it was her sexy black bob haircut or the fact that he had looked into her eyes before he left. They always seemed to be able to see what really was beneath the surface. He shivered at that thought and rode on. He was also very worried. Annas’ walk home would take her by the old crooked bridge by the river. It was a dangerous place to walk at night. But, he figured, she’d be o.k. This thought made him feel better. He then pulled up to his driveway, went inside, and went to bed. He was then woken up several hours later by the phone pounding in his head. “Hell…hello?” he answered. “Hello, is this Mr. John Morris?” a man replied. “Yes?” “Yes, my name is Officer Newton. There has been a serious accident involving a friend of yours.” “What?” he screamed. “Her name is Anna Gordon. She says she’s your girlfriend. Before she slipped into a coma, she told us to call you,” the voice said. “What the hell happened?” Johnnie yelled as he started to choke up. “Okay, okay just calm down there, son. It seems that sometime between 9:30 and 10:00 p.m. as she was walking over that old bridge by Blue River she was struck by a drunk driver. He has been taken into custody and she’s been taken down to the county hospital in critical condition. I’m very sorry to have to tell you all of this. Do you know of any relatives we can call?” “Yes,” Johnnie replied,” I’ll call them.” “Okay, thank you.” The click of the phone came crashing down on Johnnie like a sledgehammer. After Johnnie called her family he threw on his clothes. He jumped Onto his bike and rode off to the hospital as fast as he could. When he got there it was too late. She had been pronounced dead. The doctors could do no more for her. Johnnie tried not to cry but couldn’t stop the wave of emotion from drowning him. He left the hospital and went numb. He was strangely angry. He felt betrayed. There was no more forever. There was nothing. The next day in the afternoon his phone rang. It was his best friend Shawn Wilson. “Hey, I heard what happened last night, man. I am so sorry,” Shawn said as sincerely as possible. “Yeah.” “Hey, um, I was thinking maybe you’d like to come out with me and the guys and knock back a few cold ones. You know, to help you get your mind off this.” “I don’t think I can,” Johnnie retorted brashly. “You gotta get out of the house, man. It ain’t healthy,” Shawn replied. “Well, okay just come get me,” Johnnie said. “Alright, I’ll be right over.” Shawn and some of Johnnies’ other friends rolled up twenty minutes later in a blue suburban. Johnnie got in and they all left. Johnnie didn’t feel like going out but didn’t want to sit alone and think anymore. To think was to hurt. “Hey Johnnie, let’s go hang out at the river!” Shawn said. Obviously he hadn’t heard where this tragedy had happened. Johnnie couldn’t speak. He only blankly nodded in agreement. They got there a little while later and everyone got out of the truck and immediately piled onto their picnic blankets. Everyone started drinking and having fun except Johnnie. He couldn’t deal with his pain. He only stared out at the water secretly longing to be with Anna. After all he hadn’t forgotten his promise. Before long, day turned into night, and the drunken friends started small campfires. Everyone started putting up tents and getting ready to sleep. Johnnie agreed to share a tent with Shawn. When everyone was done setting up they doused the fire and went to bed. As Shawn and Johnnie both lay side by side Shawn could feel the tension. Nervously he tried to strike up a conversation. “Hey, man, how are you feeling?” Shawn said in a shaky voice, pulling his blond hair away from his eyes. “Better,” Johnnie fibbed,”I feel better now that I’m here with you guys.” Johnnie never was a good liar. Shawn seemed to sense this and replied,“Oh well, I guess I’m gonna go to bed now.” “Well I can’t sleep. I’m gonna go for a walk but I’ll be back,” Johnnie stated as he got up and walked outside. He pulled his hair into a ponytail as his eyes adjusted to the dark. It was a really beautiful night save for the mess of beer cans next to all of the old scraggly tents. Everyone seemed to be asleep so he tiptoed off to an old willow tree further down the riverbed. He leaned against the old willow and yawned. He felt tired but restless at the same time. The sky was clear and the crescent moon reflected on the churning water of the busy river. The wind blew softly overhead. There was no noise on this peaceful night except for the wind, which spoke of forbidden things. ‘It’s so beautiful,” he thought as his hand fumbled inside his jacket for a cigarette. Suddenly, a chill seized his body. The hairs on his neck stood up like a bristle brush. He turned around and found himself looking right into those piercing blue eyes. The next mourning as Shawn was wiping the sleep from his eyes, he noticed Johnnie was not there. Shawn jumped out of his sleeping bag, pulled on his pants, and ran outside. It was a cloudy, overcast mourning. The cold outside was bone chilling. There was no low hanging fog however, so it wasn’t very difficult to see the horizon. Shawn called out,” Hey, Johnnie!” No answer. Shawn called out again,” Johnnie, where are you?!” There was still no reply. With that, Shawn decided to go have a look around the river. He walked for a little while in the opposite direction that Johnnie had gone. He was about to give up after searching for some time when he looked back and noticed something unusual by an old willow tree. Shawn ran till he got there. He noticed Johnnies’ jacket poking out from behind the other side of the tree. When he got there however, what he saw made him stop and quake. All the heat left his body as he attempted to scream. He could not move his feet, nor could he look away. There was Johnnie. He was slumped over dead with a smile and lipstick smears on his face. I guess he knew all along the terrible truth. Love kills… Miguel Valdez Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
8:37 pm	Useless Emotion Original Poem Miguel Valdez USELESS EMOTION What is love? Such a curious notion Made up of such things as trust and devotion To me it’s just a useless emotion Bringing me down Love? Don’t play that game It just leaves you empty and filled with pain Sitting in the cold uncaring rain Of my mind I used to be a normal guy Until I got my first dose of love one night It leaves you bitter and resentful inside As it rapes my mind and soul At first love was sweet, but soon turned sour Now I sit in my room and quietly cower As love enters its final hour Soon I shall be free With a razor slash to end the pain The liquid of life flows from my vein No, never will love hurt me again I think as I cry tears of joy My consciousness now begins to soar As my thoughts, feelings, and reason hit the floor Love will no longer hurt me forever more I think as I smile and fade away……. Current Mood: rejected (Comment on this)
8:34 pm	Gothique Original Poem Miguel Valdez GOTHIQUE Pale moonlight peaks over my windowsill To sate its curiosity Candle flame gyrates rhythmically to The music of a band forgotten long ago I paint my face with pain A dash of loneliness A hint of mystery And shadow smiles For the night is your lover So the slow dance begins As the room spins round --hypnotizing Enchanting all who dare venture in The music plays on and the pace increases Faster, faster Till you fall into my arms Spent, tired, and most importantly mine Current Mood: enthralled (Comment on this)
8:33 pm	Confusion Original Poem Miguel Valdez Confusion it has been a long time now my heart under lock and key would not let myself allow any one to witness the emotional me yet with one look, you destroy my logic one kiss, dispels my reason one touch, raises my soul one smile, more precious than gold you put me at the brink of despair as you pull away and bring me back with a simple gesture I know you hurt inside and I have known only pain for so long yet, when we are close nothing feels wrong I just want to be right I won’t mess up anymore whatever role I am to chosen to play I will take center stage but, alas I want our hearts to mend to be a lover or to be a friend? whatever the outcome may be just lay in my arms next to me look into my eyes and give me your smile that alone is worthwhile Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
8:31 pm	Missing you Miguel Valdez Ballad World of Distance Feeling lonely in my room I’ll call you on the phone Nothing else can cheer me up When I’m all alone Hello, hello are you there my love? Can you come to see me? No, I can’t my darling boy For I am too busy, you see I have way too much to think about To waste my time on you Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow sometime Possibly right around two I called her up the next day At the allocated time But again to my dismay I was fed yet another line The lies kept up and I just sulked Too weak to do a thing Nervously sitting by the phone Waiting for the ring It never came, she never called Too busy with her life I just wish for my own sake That she was worth the strife We both moved on, never looking back Afraid of what my eyes would see A vision of a lovely girl With no time in her schedule for me Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
8:25 pm	Yesterday Miguel Valdez Sonnet He walks slowly down a suburban street Staring at his feet, he dreams of yesterday The freaks downtown, so young and so sweet The songs they sang, the games they used to play People turn to look as he walks by them They never say hello, he gets only stares It’s lonely out there without a good friend Everyone needs somebody who really cares He sits by the bus stop, quietly waiting Memories sting him, his eyes full of fear Trying to keep a straight face while contemplating The levee breaks, his eyes flood with tears The laughter is gone and so is the fun For now he’s an adult and life has just begun Current Mood: lonely (Comment on this)
8:12 pm	This Year Original Poem Miguel Valdez This Year This year has been an angry year For I have lost my home I yell and curse and in spite of me It doesn’t change the fact that I’m disowned This year has been a lonely year For I have lost my one true love Nothing I can say or do Will mend my heart enough This year has been a mournful year For I have lost a good friend I sit up every night and think of you And when we’ll meet again This year has been a depressing year For I looked inside myself And realized I had nothing Like an empty cupboard shelf BUT…this year has been a hopeful year For I have not given in I smile right on through my tears I know the karmic wheel slowly spins Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)