dj_blixxx

Writer's Block

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:51:54 GMT

WRITERS’ BLOCK

The sun’s rays were just starting to peek over the horizon in

Roseville and it was starting to hurt Bob Stewart’s eyes. He squinted and

adjusted his coke-bottle glasses higher up on his cucumber shaped nose.

Bob still would not rest fore he needed something he had not yet attained.

Bob needed inspiration.

Bob had been a novelist off and on for almost a decade now. He

had written many fine works of poetry and fiction. Unfortunately, despite

all the years of his experience under his stretched belt, for some reason all

he could draw was a blank. The evening came and went like so many women

in his life. The sun had come up and Bob still had no ideas. He cursed him-

self under his breath and just stared blankly at his screensaver.

His writer’s block had never been this bad before. Bob was starting

to panic as his feeble mind started scanning subject after subject to no avail.

His fingers were twitching with intense anticipation as they caressed the

little Braille nubs on the keyboard. Hour after hour went by and lunchtime

was creeping up on him like a silent killer. His biological need to sate his

hunger eventually overtook his passion to write and he decided to go out to

the local coffee shop. Besides, he thought, there might be some source of

inspiration he could find.

After a rather uneventful drive to the coffee shop he pulled into the

parking lot. He then proceeded to slyly steal a parking space from an elderly

woman who had been waiting for another person to pull out. After a friendly

wave ‘hello’ to the old woman as she yelled unintelligible curses at him, he

calmly strolled inside.

As he opened the door the aroma of cheap perfume and roasted coffee

beans accosted his nasal passages and made him gag for a moment. After

a momentary pause he adjusted and walked to the counter.

“How may I help you, sir?” said the jovial girl behind the counter.

“I’ll have a mocha latte please,” he replied blushing. He caught

himself secretly wishing he was a bit younger and more attractive. Or,

that he didn’t have so much of a beer gut and that he hadn’t neglected to

shower for awhile. He politely thanked the girl as he slapped his money

down on the counter and then went outside to have a nerve-calming smoke.

He calmly surveyed the patio area and then he strolled over to an

empty table in a lonely forgotten corner. He glanced up at the sky as he

puffed smokey onion ring shapes from his parched lips. The sky was so

blue, like a Windex dream with swirls of whipped cream clouds. The

sun was busy playing peek-a-boo with some hyperactive birds. The rays

of heavenly luminescence shown down onto the humble patio like strobe

lights from the angels. One of the beams shown down on Bobs’ table like

a spotlight at a seedy comedy club. Bob mearly chuckled at the thought of

‘God’ as he puffed on his smoke like the atheist engine that couldn’t.

A cry suddenly broke the silence of Bob’s little make-believe

world. He glanced to his left and stole a glimpse of a mother and her

stroller-bound yuppie larvae. The baby was crying for food as the mother

fumbled with her baby bag looking for a bottle. Bob marveled in the

thought that mother and child have a symbiotic relationship rather than a

relationship out of love. For example, he thought, the baby needs her for

food and shelter. He glanced at the woman’s’ hand and noticed she had no

ring on her finger. Perhaps, he concluded, she needs the baby for

companionship and her emotional well being as well. Then the chalk-

board of his mind was whipped clean again.

Well, Bob decided, it’s time to go home again. He dragged

himself from the table and to his car. He gave the key a turn and was

welcomed by the familiar hello of the squealing engine. He threw it into

reverse and started pulling out of the stolen space. He gave a casual glance

at his rear view mirror and noticed a couple fighting. They were yelling at

each other very intensely over some unknown subjects. Bob just figured it

was probably something very trivial like that the guy forgot to put the lid

down. She then hurled some roses at him that he’d given her in a blatant

attempt to smooth over some roughness in their relationship. Bob mearly

smirked to himself as she stormed off down the street with her boyfriend

in pursuit, eyes streaming with tears. This only reconfirmed Bobs’ belief

that all of young America was wholly dysfunctional at best.

At last Bob pulled into his driveway. He had seen quite a few

interesting things. Bob felt a strange sensation overtaking him. Had he

finally found inspiration? Eager for success Bob raced inside and jumped

onto his chair. He hastily booted up his computer and turned on the

monitor. Bob fingered the keyboard with such vigor, such excitement, and

such determination to complete his story. Then suddenly his mind blanked

as if he had never left the house. His hands froze in the ready position.

The dull screensaver clicked back on tauntingly as he stared at it in a horrid

realization. The world started to spin as his mind slipped back into that oh

So familiar oblivion…

Never Again

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:51:01 GMT

NEVER AGAIN

“What am I doing here?” Jack thought to himself as his mind

raced for an answer. Jack was at it again. He was hanging out in a ritzy

reception hall down in New York’s East Side sector. It was a grand hall filled with

the well-to-do and enough food for an army. He was leaning on a wall adjacent to an

old punch bowl at the end of the table. Jack took a glance around the room.

“Nice décor,” He said to himself with a smirk the size of the

table. He quickly and mentally slapped himself back in line. He had no time to admire

the fancy-schmancyness of the hall for he had a job to do.

You see, Jack was an assassin. Officially, he worked for the mob but,

once in a while he did ‘errands’ for the government. That is, when the government

doesn’t feel like taking the heat. In return they overlooked Jack’s dealings. It was a

tense relationship at best.

Jack sipped on an extra-dry martini as he remained leaning against the wall

in back. From this position he could see the whole hall and everyone in it clearly. Every

big-wig in town was there. There was the rich, a few minor celebrities, and a lot of

unknowns drinking and waiting. There was to be a big speech tonight…a controversial

speech. A speech someone was paying a lot of money to cut short.

Jack just kept on sipping away at his martini. He held no personal grudges

or anything like that against his victims. It was just his job he always told himself. He

had to rationalize his behavior. It’s the only way to stay ‘sane’. “Besides,” he thought

“they all deserved what they got.” His train of thought was suddenly derailed by a bump

from his right.

“Oh, excuse me. I’m very sorry,” the unknown woman said.

“It’s okay, I’m alright. Except, for my martini…it’s all over the floor,”

Jack said. “Hey, she’s gorgeous,” Jack thought to himself as his wide smile waved hello.

“The Cheshire cat ain’t got nothing’ on these choppers,” he silently assured himself.

“I’m sorry about that. My name’s Alice. Alice Tanner. What’s yours?”

she said as her candy apple lips seemed to move in slow motion.

“Er, um, Jack,” he spat out as he yet again snapped back to reality.

“Nice to meet you…Jack,” she said, her words dancing all over Jack’s

helpless mind. “Say do you want to go get some drinks after this speech? I know it

sounds kinda sudden but I’m feeling particularly frisky tonight. Besides, you look like

the type that enjoys a strong woman who knows what she wants.”

“Oh, indeed I do.”

“Well then, it’s settled. I have to take care of some business for a bit but,

you can meet me back at the bar on the corner in an hour.”

“Okay…cheers.”

“Cheers.”

Jack found himself blushing for the first time in years as he watched her

walk away. He was so happy. He hadn’t had a date in years. “This could be the one,”

he thought. He definitely felt that electric spark o’ love. Unfortunately, it was time for

him to regain his composition. He still had a job to do.

He surveyed the area for his contact. An old waiter met Jack’s eyes

with a hard gaze. The two men exchanged eye contact for a brief moment like a cat

caught in a car’s highbeams before becoming a road-patty. The old, gnarled waiter

strolled up to Jack with another martini on a napkin.

“Your drink, sir.”

“Thank you,” Jack said. He tipped the old man generously and turned over

the napkin. It simply read…3rd foor-office 205-fax machine.

With that, Jack left the hall and headed for the elevators. He entered the

first available elevators with several other people and watched the door close behind him.

He felt the tenseness in his hands and body like a rigermortise reminder of the death he

was to inflict on his unsuspecting quarry.

“This is the last one,” Jack silently swore to himself,” I swear it. After this

I’ll just move away. I’ll disappear for awhile, maybe settle down with a nice girl. Alice..

…,” he thought,” hopefully her…but what would she think of me if she knew what I’d

done.” He knew he liked her very much, unnaturally almost.

The elevator came to a stop. Everyone shuffled out in a some what

orderly fashion. Jack managed to break away from the crowd without anyone noticing.

He snuck down the poorly lit hallway like a frightened mouse until he found himself

standing in front of office 205. With a quick pick of the lock he was inside. Once inside

he glanced about. The fax machine was to the left on a messy desk. He pushed aside

some of the clutter and waited for instructions. While he waited, Jack had a look around.

The place was a mess. Papers and chairs were scattered about. A half eaten sandwich

lay on the floor. He also took note of the window to his right with the nice overhead

view of the reception hall.

Just then with a mechanical whir the fax machine came to life scaring the

bejesus out of Jack. The paper that came forth. It simply read: go to the desk-open the

top, right hand drawer-take the suitcase-open, assemble.

He did as the note said. He found the suitcase and opened it. Inside there

was a high powered rifle (silenced) and a scope. He assembled and waited for further

instructions. The next whir brought the next paper. It read: now sending picture of the

mark-wait until subject is on podeum-rendevous 10 minutes-parking lot, black Mercedes.

Jack walked by the window and peeked out. People were getting ready to

hear the speech. Jack started having second thoughts. What had he done to himself? He

had volunteered, he had chosen. No one else was responsible for his actions.

The fax machine whirred to life again. The microphone also buzzed to life

at that same instant with a feedback hiccup. Jack slowly walked to the fax machine just

as the speech was starting.

Jack froze in his path. He knew that voice…it was Alice! Her picture came

sliding out of the fax machine in way that seemed taunting and unfair. He watched it

slowly fall to the floor like a dead leaf in Autumn only it was Jack changing color, not

the paper. He slowly sank to his knees

“What have I done? God, help me…..”

That's So Typical

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:48:17 GMT

Miguel Valdez
That’s So Typical

“Hey, faggot!” The yell reverberated across the Bel Air parking lot. Then the

unmistakable sound of breaking glass-raining shards of death soon followed. Mike

looked down at his boots. He slowly sidestepped out of the crunchy pile of hateful

Budweiser beer bottle bits.

“Goddamn jocks,” he cursed to himself in a laryngitis-like tone.

This was a typical day in the life of Mike. He was, after all, the only gothic-punk

kid in town. People can be so cruel to things they fear or don’t understand. This goes for

their attitudes towards poor Mikey. He’d been thrown out of a lot of public places and

other establishments not because he couldn’t pay or was rude but, because of his looks.

He was a suburban kid with dreams and a conciousness bigger than this mudhole of a

town. He was a self-proclaimed torchbearer for the spirit of the scene.

Mike sighed and pushed his long black bangs aside. He surveyed the parking lot

carefully for any more would-be offenders to his peace. Upon seeing that the coast was

clear he proceeded towards home.

“I’m never going to walk here for groceries again,” he thought to himself,” It’s not

worth the shit I have to take. Why can’t people leave me alone?”

He continued on with his eyes focused on the weathered sidewalk. He was too busy

staring at his 20-eyed boots and daydreaming that he almost walked into an elderly

couple. They moved all the way across to the other side of the street as he looked up.

Their unblinking eyes were fixated upon him with fear and resentment. Too bad that they

(just like most) didn’t realize that Mike had no interest what so ever in their mediocre

lives. People just assumed he was up to no good or that he wanted money for whatever it

was that homeless punks bought with it (presumably drugs). Ignorance is not always

bliss.

He picked up his pace and speed walked across the street. He had enough to worry

about already and didn’t need to be accosted anymore on his way home. He had made up

his mind that Rocklin was not his chosen haven. He needed the city life. There the

people are more accepting. There were others like him. Maybe there was a girl out there

in that vast utopia waiting for him to sweep her off of her stiletto heels.

Mike smiled at the thought and walked on. He was a natural born romantic, a self-

proclaimed Casanova. Although, he was a very nice and sweet guy he was no Don Juan

in the arts of seduction. His shyness made it hard for him to meet worthwhile people.

Some women were too stuck up, some were just friends, and others just wanted to have

lots of meaningless sex and then leave. That wasn’t for Mike, sex meant more to him

than just dirty acrobatics and the high of an evening of orgasmic bliss. To him it was

like a culmination of all of his emotions and romantic yearnings.

Mike felt so alone in this little yuppie hell. He wanted a companion, a girlfriend.

One of like mind and spirit that would not neglect or mistreat him. He considered

reaching emotional fulfillment his number one priority. He hated being alone, and this

town only magnified that negative vibe of loneliness and despair. As far as the freak

population goes he truly was alone.

Mike pressed on a few more blocks. He had a lot on his mind. Why was he like

this? He had always been different. Bullies singled him out in school. He never

had a date in high school but, that’s when he found his first love…music. He loved those

dark melodies that made his soul shiver and twitch. He dressed in his beloved darkness,

black from head to toe. This color above all others represented how he felt inside.

Blackened with depression and guilt like a hollow, gutted tree carcass after a forest fire.

His heart was as coal and he was just waiting for the right woman to chip away the

hardened exterior to the diamond center.

Then he thought of Natalie as he came to the last block. He had met her months ago

but, only recently they had spent quite a bit of time together at a party. They didn’t really

know anyone else there so they spent the majority of the night talking. They had a few

drinks and things got interesting. Hands touched, lips met, and eyes melted into each

other’s minds forever. He hadn’t been able to get her dimpled smile off his vivid

memory still-life. The thought of her made him feel so alive and giddy like a giggly

schoolgirl blushing to her bones. For a moment his gloominess became a little bit

brighter.

“This time I know I’ve found the one,” he thought,” She is everything I’ve ever

wanted. She’s got personality, wit, and charm.”

He sprinted to his front door and turned the knob with eager hands. He raced

upstairs to his room. With a giant leap he cleared the bed and went over to the dresser.

There it was, lying under the refuse of a weeks worth of mail. It was the coveted

phone number that he had been thinking of calling all day long. He grabbed it and ran to

the phone.

As he licked his lips and eyed the phone number he suddenly felt a twinge in his

stomach. He was overtaken by nervousness as his shy side fought for control. He felt an

urge to run away and hide like he’d done so many times in the past. He waved and

debated silently. It seems that the benefits could by far exceed the risk. After all, the

worst that could happen if he asked her out would be a no answer, right?

He dialed with unsteady hands. It rang twice and her unmistakable sweet voice

tickled his ear (and his fancy).

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me, Mike. Hi, I was calling to see how you were. I haven’t talked to you

in a couple of days since the party.”

“Yeah, I missed talking to you. So what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Say…I was wondering what you were doing later.”

“Nothing, why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering if you’d like to go out like on a date sometime.”

“Well there’s something I need to tell you. I don’t usually don’t do things like that.

Do you catch my drift?”

“What do you mean? Do you already have a boyfriend or do you just not like me?”

“No, it’s not that at all…”

“Well, please tell me…”

“It’s just that I’m…gay.”

“Oh…,” Mike paused for a moment ,” well then we can still be friends right?”

“Yeah, sure. That would be very cool. Well, it was nice talking to you. I have

to go now okay. I’ll see you later sometime…promise?”

“Yeah, I promise…”

Well that was that and Mikey had heard enough. He sank back into his chair in the

corner of his room. Was this destiney? Was this the fates and their sickened sense of

humour? Mikey was not about to give up on his search for the one. She was out there,

out there somewhere amongst the refuse and degenerates of society waiting to be saved.

Or was it Mikey waiting to be saved? He reached for his favorite cd and put in on the

stereo. The melancholy notes and hypnotic rythms once again enveloped Mikey in its’

velvet arms and rocked him to sleep.

He would once again dream of a woman intangible and smile. Time is of the

essense. He knew one day all would be right. After all, power is fleeting…

hope and love are eternal.

Last Kiss

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:45:53 GMT

LAST KISS

It was 7:00 and Johnnie Morris was late again. He was supposed

to have met his girlfriend Anna at the Old House Diner over an hour ago.
.
He was too busy with the guys that he hadn’t watched the clock again. He

cared not though, for he felt that everything should revolve around his

schedule. That’s just the way he’d always been.

His fatigued tires squealed to a halt as he pulled into the busy parking

lot. His black leather was stained with various flying insects’ remnants and

other road-fodder. He noticed this but did didn’t mind for he was the

definition of cool. Also, his long black hair always got caught in his mouth when

he rode and this annoyed him. As he took off his helmet he spit his hair out

of his mouth, got of his bike and calmly strolled to the entrance.

He noticed his girlfriend sitting alone at a booth by the window,

staring at him with discontented eyes. God, how her big blue eyes always

gave her away…how she felt, how she was going to act almost like a polygraph

machine needle bouncing back and forth. It was all there.

Johnnie smiled and waved nonchalantly and walked inside.

“How are you?” he said rather tactlessly as he slid into his seat.

“Just fine,” she retorted,” what took you so long? I’ve been here for over an

hour and a half waiting for you. You’re always

late.”
“Sorry, but me and the guys were busy practicing that new song I

wrote for you, remember? The one that says love is forever.”

“Yeah, but it also says don’t take things for granted too if I

remember correctly. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately how things

have been.”

“What do you mean?” he replied. His right eyebrow

raised slightly higher than the left.

“Well, it’s just that I love you so much, but it seems that we haven’t

been spending much time together.”

“Hey, you know how I feel. Besides, I need my space. We’ll

always be together….I promise. So don’t worry about the time. I, I um…

well you know….I care about you a lot.”

Johnnie never could say it. His large vocabulary and cool somehow

almost always deserting him on these occasions. She knew he loved her, he

had always reasoned. Besides he had a few problems with the ‘L’ word. That

and he didn’t want his friends thinking he had gone soft.

“How come you just don’t spit it out? It’s just three little words,”

Anna blurted out just as the waitress brought them their sodas.

“ You know…just because,” Johnnie trailed off while looking out

the window. He sipped his soda and daydreamed for a minute but was

snapped back into reality by a shake.

“Hey, hey let’s just leave now,” Anna said while gently shaking

him by the shoulder.

“O.k.,” Johnnie replied putting his money down on the

table plus tip. Then two walked outside to his bike.

“You want a lift home?” he asked.

“No, I’ll walk tonight, babe. I just want to think for awhile.”

“Um, alright. I’ll guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care of

yourself,” he said as their eyes met.

They exchanged a long, hard kiss and then Johnnie rode off. He

couldn’t help but think about her. Maybe it was her sexy black bob

haircut or the fact that he had looked into her eyes before he left. They

always seemed to be able to see what really was beneath the surface. He

shivered at that thought and rode on. He was also very worried. Annas’

walk home would take her by the old crooked bridge by the river. It was a

dangerous place to walk at night. But, he figured, she’d be o.k. This thought

made him feel better.

He then pulled up to his driveway, went inside, and went to bed.

He was then woken up several hours later by the phone pounding in his head.

“Hell…hello?” he answered.

“Hello, is this Mr. John Morris?” a man replied.

“Yes?”

“Yes, my name is Officer Newton. There has been a serious accident

involving a friend of yours.”

“What?” he screamed.

“Her name is Anna Gordon. She says she’s your girlfriend. Before

she slipped into a coma, she told us to call you,” the voice said.

“What the hell happened?” Johnnie yelled as he started to choke up.

“Okay, okay just calm down there, son. It seems that sometime

between 9:30 and 10:00 p.m. as she was walking over that old bridge by

Blue River she was struck by a drunk driver. He has been taken into custody

and she’s been taken down to the county hospital in critical condition.

I’m very sorry to have to tell you all of this. Do you know of any

relatives we can call?”

“Yes,” Johnnie replied,” I’ll call them.”

“Okay, thank you.” The click of the phone came crashing down

on Johnnie like a sledgehammer.

After Johnnie called her family he threw on his clothes. He jumped

Onto his bike and rode off to the hospital as fast as he could.

When he got there it was too late. She had been pronounced dead.

The doctors could do no more for her. Johnnie tried not to cry but couldn’t

stop the wave of emotion from drowning him. He left the hospital and went

numb. He was strangely angry. He felt betrayed. There was no more forever.

There was nothing.

The next day in the afternoon his phone rang. It was his best friend

Shawn Wilson.

“Hey, I heard what happened last night, man. I am so sorry,” Shawn

said as sincerely as possible.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, um, I was thinking maybe you’d like to come out with me

and the guys and knock back a few cold ones. You know, to help you get

your mind off this.”

“I don’t think I can,” Johnnie retorted brashly.

“You gotta get out of the house, man. It ain’t healthy,” Shawn

replied.

“Well, okay just come get me,” Johnnie said.

“Alright, I’ll be right over.”

Shawn and some of Johnnies’ other friends rolled up twenty

minutes later in a blue suburban. Johnnie got in and they all left. Johnnie

didn’t feel like going out but didn’t want to sit alone and think anymore.

To think was to hurt.

“Hey Johnnie, let’s go hang out at the river!” Shawn said.

Obviously he hadn’t heard where this tragedy had happened.

Johnnie couldn’t speak. He only blankly nodded in agreement. They

got there a little while later and everyone got out of the truck and

immediately piled onto their picnic blankets. Everyone started drinking

and having fun except Johnnie. He couldn’t deal with his pain. He

only stared out at the water secretly longing to be with Anna. After all

he hadn’t forgotten his promise.

Before long, day turned into night, and the drunken friends started

small campfires. Everyone started putting up tents and getting ready to sleep.

Johnnie agreed to share a tent with Shawn. When everyone was done setting

up they doused the fire and went to bed. As Shawn and Johnnie both lay

side by side Shawn could feel the tension. Nervously he tried to strike up

a conversation.

“Hey, man, how are you feeling?” Shawn said in a shaky voice,

pulling his blond hair away from his eyes.

“Better,” Johnnie fibbed,”I feel better now that I’m here with you

guys.” Johnnie never was a good liar.

Shawn seemed to sense this and replied,“Oh well, I guess I’m gonna go to bed now.”

“Well I can’t sleep. I’m gonna go for a walk but I’ll be back,”

Johnnie stated as he got up and walked outside.

He pulled his hair into a ponytail as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

It was a really beautiful night save for the mess of beer cans next to all of

the old scraggly tents. Everyone seemed to be asleep so he tiptoed off to an

old willow tree further down the riverbed.

He leaned against the old willow and yawned. He felt tired but

restless at the same time. The sky was clear and the crescent moon reflected

on the churning water of the busy river. The wind blew softly overhead.

There was no noise on this peaceful night except for the wind, which spoke

of forbidden things. ‘It’s so beautiful,” he thought as his hand fumbled inside

his jacket for a cigarette.

Suddenly, a chill seized his body. The hairs on his neck stood up

like a bristle brush. He turned around and found himself looking right into

those piercing blue eyes.

The next mourning as Shawn was wiping the sleep from his eyes,

he noticed Johnnie was not there. Shawn jumped out of his sleeping bag,

pulled on his pants, and ran outside. It was a cloudy, overcast mourning.

The cold outside was bone chilling. There was no low hanging fog

however, so it wasn’t very difficult to see the horizon.

Shawn called out,” Hey, Johnnie!”

No answer. Shawn called out again,” Johnnie, where are you?!”

There was still no reply. With that, Shawn decided to go have a

look around the river. He walked for a little while in the opposite direction

that Johnnie had gone. He was about to give up after searching for some

time when he looked back and noticed something unusual by an old willow

tree.

Shawn ran till he got there. He noticed Johnnies’ jacket poking

out from behind the other side of the tree. When he got there however,

what he saw made him stop and quake. All the heat left his body as he

attempted to scream. He could not move his feet, nor could he look away.

There was Johnnie. He was slumped over dead with a smile and

lipstick smears on his face. I guess he knew all along the terrible truth.

Love kills…

Miguel Valdez

Useless Emotion

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:38:41 GMT

Original Poem
Miguel Valdez

USELESS EMOTION

What is love? Such a curious notion
Made up of such things as trust and devotion
To me it’s just a useless emotion
Bringing me down

Love? Don’t play that game
It just leaves you empty and filled with pain
Sitting in the cold uncaring rain
Of my mind

I used to be a normal guy
Until I got my first dose of love one night
It leaves you bitter and resentful inside
As it rapes my mind and soul

At first love was sweet, but soon turned sour
Now I sit in my room and quietly cower
As love enters its final hour
Soon I shall be free

With a razor slash to end the pain
The liquid of life flows from my vein
No, never will love hurt me again
I think as I cry tears of joy

My consciousness now begins to soar
As my thoughts, feelings, and reason hit the floor
Love will no longer hurt me forever more
I think as I smile and fade away…….

Gothique

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:37:33 GMT

Original Poem
Miguel Valdez

GOTHIQUE

Pale moonlight peaks over my windowsill
To sate its curiosity
Candle flame gyrates rhythmically to
The music of a band forgotten long ago
I paint my face with pain
A dash of loneliness
A hint of mystery
And shadow smiles
For the night is your lover
So the slow dance begins
As the room spins round --hypnotizing
Enchanting all who dare venture in
The music plays on and the pace increases
Faster, faster
Till you fall into my arms
Spent, tired, and most importantly mine

Confusion

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:34:13 GMT

Original Poem
Miguel Valdez

Confusion

it has been a long time now
my heart under lock and key
would not let myself allow
any one to witness the emotional me

yet with one look, you destroy my logic
one kiss, dispels my reason
one touch, raises my soul
one smile, more precious than gold

you put me at the brink of despair
as you pull away
and bring me back
with a simple gesture

I know you hurt inside
and I have known only pain for so long
yet, when we are close
nothing feels wrong

I just want to be right
I won’t mess up anymore
whatever role I am to chosen to play
I will take center stage

but, alas I want our hearts to mend
to be a lover or to be a friend?
whatever the outcome may be
just lay in my arms next to me
look into my eyes and give me your smile
that alone is worthwhile

Missing you

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:33:05 GMT

Miguel Valdez
Ballad

World of Distance
Feeling lonely in my room
I’ll call you on the phone
Nothing else can cheer me up
When I’m all alone

Hello, hello are you there my love?
Can you come to see me?
No, I can’t my darling boy
For I am too busy, you see

I have way too much to think about
To waste my time on you
Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow sometime
Possibly right around two

I called her up the next day
At the allocated time
But again to my dismay
I was fed yet another line

The lies kept up and I just sulked
Too weak to do a thing
Nervously sitting by the phone
Waiting for the ring

It never came, she never called
Too busy with her life
I just wish for my own sake
That she was worth the strife

We both moved on, never looking back
Afraid of what my eyes would see
A vision of a lovely girl
With no time in her schedule for me

Yesterday

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:30:48 GMT

Miguel Valdez
Sonnet

He walks slowly down a suburban street
Staring at his feet, he dreams of yesterday
The freaks downtown, so young and so sweet
The songs they sang, the games they used to play

People turn to look as he walks by them
They never say hello, he gets only stares
It’s lonely out there without a good friend
Everyone needs somebody who really cares

He sits by the bus stop, quietly waiting
Memories sting him, his eyes full of fear
Trying to keep a straight face while contemplating
The levee breaks, his eyes flood with tears

The laughter is gone and so is the fun
For now he’s an adult and life has just begun

This Year

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:24:12 GMT

Original Poem
Miguel Valdez

This Year

This year has been an angry year
For I have lost my home
I yell and curse and in spite of me
It doesn’t change the fact that I’m disowned

This year has been a lonely year
For I have lost my one true love
Nothing I can say or do
Will mend my heart enough

This year has been a mournful year
For I have lost a good friend
I sit up every night and think of you
And when we’ll meet again

This year has been a depressing year
For I looked inside myself
And realized I had nothing
Like an empty cupboard shelf

BUT…this year has been a hopeful year
For I have not given in
I smile right on through my tears
I know the karmic wheel slowly spins